The Super Happy Fun Adventures of Sasuke
by StarlightJokestr
Summary: It was a normal day in Konoha, for everyone except Sasuke! Everyone seems to be strange and mean towards him, and bad things are happening left and right! Fer anyone with the disturbed personalities. Chapters: 2
1. Sasuke's Bad Day

**Author's Note: **Eheh okay, this is my first fic... lemme say a few little side notes before we begin... k? k.

First of all, this is not your average Naruto Fan Fiction. It is a parody about Sasuke, because I think it's fun to pick on him. I'll be blunt, this story will have moments where he is picked on and abused, in a humorous way. Let me make this clear, I've nothing against Sasuke, I just believe to gets too much attention and needs a little something like this.

Also, before criticizing this story's small vocabulary, let me say this; The story was intended to be told like a children's book, you'll figure it out sooner or later. The title is kind of a dead giveaway.

Throughout the course of the story, it will not be just one story line. They are like short stories, though some may last a few chapters or so. Some though may leave off in a certain place and continue in the next Chapter, but with a new storyline. So yeah... let's begin, eh?

**I: Sasuke's Bad Day**

Once upon a time, in the peaceful village of Konoha, there was a ninja named Uchiha Sasuke, that everyone seemed to just ADORE. But this day, however, things went topsy-turvy for him. Sasuke woke up, threw on his fancy black outfit, put on his headband, and walked outside to gaze at the birds and the bees, just like he does every other day. He was merrily strolling through the streets of Konoha, hands in his pocket, eyes half open and no smile on his face, heading for the bridge to begin his _super-fun_ daily ninja training. But he was stopped on the way by a face he'd never seen before.

"I don't like your attitude, _dude_!" said the unfamiliar, strange man. Sasuke twitched, looked up to the _scary_ man, who was about twice his height, and said, "You're bothersome." And continued his strolling about, which he considered '_really fun_'. Little did poor Sasuke know, this _scary_ man would soon be a great help to him soon.

Sasuke-kun finally reached the bridge, and was greeted by an unhappy Naruto. Uh-oh! "What the hell is your problem!? You're even later than Kakashi-sensei!" Sasuke looked down, and noticed his shadow was very small, right under him. It was noon already! Where had his day gone? _Poor_ Sasuke!

"Hmph." Was all Sasuke had to say, and strolled over to lean on the rail of the bridge, to wait for Kakashi-sensei's announcements. But, unlike other days, the rail seemed to have a crack in it, and the whole thing snapped! Poor Sasuke fell down into the river below, in terrible shock! "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura-chan screamed out. "Sakura-chan, he had it coming, and you know it." Said Naruto.

Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi all peered down in the river below, and all of them were shocked at the sight! "Surf's up! My bad attitude dude!" it was the _scary_ man from earlier! He caught Sasuke from falling and _drowning_ in the river. I guess he wasn't such a _scary_ man after all! Sasuke was amazed, and confused. Aww. "_How the hell is he surfing the waves of a gentle river like this!?_" he thought. "_This is one strange day._" And it will get stranger yet, Dear Sasuke!

Later into the day, Kakashi announced the _fun game_ they were going to play. "Today, we're going to play a game, but it is a serious one. It is called 'Pin the Gourd on the Gaara'." The three students just sat there, with a very freaked out expression on their face. "Now, let me explain the rules," he began. "I have made a wooden statue of Gaara, and three parts of a gourd are arranged in various places throughout the area. We will be playing it here, the same place we had to do the Survival Training with the two bells, long ago. You three must work as a team to gather the pieces of the gourd and pin them onto Gaara by any means, shuriken, chakra, anything. The thing is, I will try to stop you. If I can get the gourd piece from you and hide it again, you will be tied up to one of the stumps for the rest of the day, all the way until midnight. This is a check-up on your basic ninjutsu skills. It will be far from simple though. Any questions?" "Yeah, what if we have to pee!?" said Naruto, grinning. "You'll have to hold it..." replied Kakashi. "Let us begin."

Our hero, Sasuke, was the first to make a move. He swiftly darted over to the easiest gourd piece, and ran over to the fake Gaara to pin it to him. But, uh-oh! Naruto began chasing our Sasuke! "I know you're Kakashi in disguise!" Naruto yelled, throwing a knife at him. It stabbed poor Sasuke in the back, and he hit the ground with a thud. "Damn you, Naruto, you fool!" Whoa, Sasuke! No need for the language! "Heheh, gotch—oops! Sasuke! It's really you!?" said Naruto in shock. Naruto then turned around, and fixated on beautiful Sakura-chan, whom had already one piece of the gourd pinned. While Sasuke was down, and Naruto was dazed out, Kakashi suddenly snatched the gourd piece Sasuke had had, and threw it into the distance! This is terrible! Our poor, helpless Sasuke will now have to be tied up!

The hours went by, and all Sasuke could do was watch the people more skilled than him wage war over the gourd pieces. Kakashi stole a piece from Naruto, but Sakura threw a shuriken to distract Kakashi, so then Naruto could steal back the piece, thus pinning it to the nearby Gaara. Only one piece left. The one Kakashi stole from our hero at the beginning.

It was getting late, 7 o'clock, P.M. And suddenly, Sasuke had to go wee-wee! What_ever_ will he do? It would be impossible for him to hold it for five long hours! This is terrible, wait, this freaking sucks! Poor Sasuke began to wet his undergarments, but then thought to himself, "_Wait, a real man should be able to hold it, no matter the circumstance._" Man? Hah! What a joke! Erm, anyhoo... the game dragged on. Sasuke waited, and waited, and waited, until three hours later, when the last piece was pinned to Gaara.

Kakashi declared the end, finally, and said, "Congratulations, Naruto and Sakura! You both did better than I thought. Even Sasuke did better than I thought." Ooh... that was harsh. "_Damn you, Kakashi! No one seems to appreciate me today! What happened? I must look into this!_"

"It's getting late, students, you can be dismissed..." said Kakashi. "Hey! What about me?" said poor Sasuke, feeling left out. "It's only 10:30. You can go at midnight. I'll come back for you then." Said Kakashi, cheerfully. Naruto and Sakura began to leave for home, but Naruto, that very bad man, put a grin on his face and got an idea. "Wait, Sakura, I want you to watch me do something before we leave!" he said. "What is it, Naruto?" Sakura replied, unenthusiastically. "You'll see!" Naruto walked over to Sasuke, back facing him, and, wouldn't you know it, the evil man farted! Right in Sasuke's face! "Heh heh!! I've always wanted to do that! Wasn't it great, Sakura-chan!?" he said, laughing. Sakura sighed, and walked off. "Damn you Naruto! Go home!" Sasuke said, kicking him away. Naruto ran and caught up with Sakura, and they went home.

Midnight finally came, after what seemed like years, because Sasuke's judgement of time is off. Kakashi appeared from behind, put away his dirty novel, and untied Sasuke, smiling the whole time. Sasuke didn't say a word, (how rude) and took off for him. When our friend finally made it home, he went directly to the bathroom, and let it rip. "Ah..." he said, In absolute bliss. But after a while, he got scared. He had been peeing for 10 minutes now! Something was terribly wrong! Was it something he ate? Finally, he just decided to stop, and continue the next morning, if it doesn't go away by then. He put on his P.J's that had airplanes and locomotives on it, and crawled into bed for a good night's sleep.

To be continued...


	2. Sasuke Goes to the Doctor

**Author's Note:** And, unfortunately, this series does continue. Read and weep.

**II: Sasuke Goes to the Doctor**

Sasuke awoke, the next morning, and much to his misfortune, he _still_ had to go wee-wee in the pee-pee! He crawled out of bed, fixed his hair (cough prep cough) and put on his cheesy little costume once again, but this time, headed for the lavatory (that's a bathroom, kiddies).

Unzipping his pants, he sighed... was it a side effect of Sharingan? We _sure_ hope not! Tinkling, he thought of the day before, and how very terrible it was. Meeting a _scary_ man, falling off a bridge, getting out in the _fun game_, having to hold his wee-wee, being farted on by Naruto, insulted by Kakashi, and not being able to stop trinkling his winkling. Why was it so bad? Why couldn't everyone have worshipped him like before? He could never think of a good explanation for why his luck turned around for him. But, he had gotten so sidetracked on those matters he forgot he was even leaking his ding-dong! He'd been doing so for 30 minutes! Oh, dear! What is wrong with our favorite Uchiha?

Sasuke finally made up his decision! He was going to take a _fun_ adventure to the hospital for a check-up! He packed up his things, and marched out of the front door, to begin his quest. But, unfortunately, Naruto was blocking the doorway. "Hey Sasuke!" said Naruto, giving him a pat on the head. "Sakura-chan and I came to wait for you this time to make sure you weren't late! Isn't it great!?" "You're bothersome. I'm not training today." Sasuke said, _cheerfully_. "Why not!?" said a now saddened Sakura. "We need you! You're really good and I don't want to have to be with _Naruto_ all day!" "Shut up. I don't need the training anyway." Said Sasuke, but we know that deep down inside he _loves_ training with his _buddies_. He stepped between the two and walked away, the opposite direction of the bridge that they always meet at.

Sasuke finally reached the hospital, and waited to be called in the waiting room. There weren't that many people there, that means _poor_ Sasuke might get looked at soon! This will be _fun_! It was quiet, just how Sasuke liked it, so he picked up a _fun_ magazine and relaxed, flipping to see what's inside. He was sitting there, ever so peacefully, reading an article about 'How to Make Your Own Cotton Candy', when he looked up, only to see a crowd of people all standing around him! In the front of the crowd was a pregnant woman, and in a cruel, nasty way, she spoke to Sasuke, "You smell like Mexican Dipping _Sauce_!" As she said this, the crowd roared with anger. _Poor_ Sasuke was being bullied again! He stood up, pulling out a throwing-knife, but was stopped by his name called from the other room. It was _finally_ his turn for some FUN! "Uchiha Sasuke!" the nurse called. "I'll deal with you all later." He said to the pregnant woman and the _mean_ people behind her, and walked over to the nurse with a 'what the crap was that all about' look on his face.

First, they weighed him and measured his height. He was a-okay! Then, they took his temperature, normal. Blood pressure, normal. Heart beat, normal. They then discussed the problem. "So, what exactly is wrong with you?" asked the kind, pretty blond-haired nurse. "It started yesterday when I had to pee, but was forced to wait 5 hours to do so. When I got him, I started peeing and it lasted for 10 minutes. I held it and slept that way until morning, when I peed for another 30 minutes. It never ended... and I think something is wrong." He replied. "We'll do what we can," said the nurse. "But we'll need you to give us a urine sample. The doctor will be here soon." Sasuke was given a cup, and escorted to the bathroom for a testing on the wee-wee from his chang-a-lang.

He began to pee, closing his eyes and relaxing, forgetting about all the worries in life. It felt so GOOD! But, when he came back to his senses and opened his eyes, he had overflowed the cup of wee-wee, and the pee-pee was all over his hands and the floor! Uh-oh! What will _poor_ Sasuke do now? There was only one thing he could do; he sealed the cup and walked out of the bathroom, of course. Too bad he forgot to wash his hands! Oh well! Back in the check-up room, he waited for the doctor to come in...

Finally, after what seemed like a millennia (cough Yu-Gi-Oh cough), the doctor arrived. Oh my garsh! The doctor was the _scary_ surfing man! "Whoa! It's my dude with the attitude, always in a bad mood!" he said, happily. "_This guy is a freak..._" thought Sasuke. Pulling out a magnifying glass, the man looked at Sasuke and said, "Let's start lookin' at what we got cookin'!" "It's my penis. I can't stop peeing." Said Sasuke, irritated. "Whoa! You got a problem with yo' penis, then there's a problem in between us! Don't be stayin' with it! Shake it three times you're playin' with it!" said the man, laughing. "IT'S NOT THAT WAY! IT JUST DOESN'T END! Isn't there a better doctor in here?" Whoa Sasuke, calm down. "Let's get this one thing clear, there ain't no better doctor than me up in here!" said the surfer. Sasuke sighed, why him?

After a long time of arguing and testing, the bad news finally came through. Sasuke had a bladder infection! Something inside him was building up impossible amounts of urine in his bladder, so he always has to drain the wang-thang. The scary, surfing doctor man said that he'd need 'a bladder transplant to fix his elephant'. This _scared_ poor Sasuke greatly, he shuddered in fear! He didn't know that many bladder donors, what if he gets a _stranger's_ bladder!? How frightening! There he was, lying on a hospital bed, with a _scary_ man in the room, smelly hands, in hospital clothes with _no_ airplanes and locomotives on it, and about to get a bladder transplant from a _scary stranger_! When will Sasuke be normal again?

"Alright, dude! Relax in those slacks 'cause you about to get jacked to the max!" said the doctor. "Will you please stop it with the rhymes?" said Sasuke, pretending to be fearless. "Hey man, rhymin' and chimin' is how I'm survivin'!" replied the man. Our disrespectful Sasuke said not a word. The man then walked behind Sasuke's bed, which apparently had wheels, and spoke up, "Hold on tight! This is gonna be a wild night!" He began pushing the bed slowly, but then pressed a _strange_ button. There were hydraulics on this bed! Uh-oh! The bed started bouncing up and down, right to left, and repeated, over and over! This made Sasuke feel bad, and had to pee more! He lost control and rolled off the bed, landed on the hard, tiled hallway floor and wet his slacks! The pee leaked out of his pants and spread across the hallways, it was _everywhere_! It even spread under doors into other patients' rooms! How embarrassing! What will Sasuke do now? He was dizzy, lying on the floor, in a puddle of pee-pee, in a hospital, in the hands of a freak! Find out in part 3 of the Super Happy Fun Adventures of Sasuke!

To be continued...


End file.
